It’s shameful, I know. And it’s something I don’t discuss much. At meals involving chopsticks, I kind of smile and nod and act like I’m following the conversation even though my palms are sweaty and my heart is racing. And if you pay close attention, you’ll notice that as soon as it comes time to handle something with a chopstick, I’ll either start laughing really, really loud or find something across the room extremely fascinating– anything to get your eyes off of me and my crooked hands bumbling with a piece of sushi. I went out to dinner with classmates a few times (Korean BBQ and sushi, nothing but chopsticks), and I definitely got a raised eyebrow from my teacher– someone I admire and respect and would gladly spare the privilege of watching me hand scoop rice into my mouth– as I speared a piece of pumpkin tempura with one chopstick.